With Valentines Day out of the way, and having shared the love, I thought I’d now share a laugh (or perhaps two!).


Solicitors are often the butt of other peoples jokes, and usually with good reason.  You only have to walk into a court room to see how the barristers are dressed and how they talk to be amused, although what some of them wear under their robes might have you in hysterics!


Of course, we sometimes have a laugh at our client’s expense, or those on the other side.  So I’ve compiled a list of some good lines I’ve heard in family matters.



My wife divorced me because I didn’t earn enough money.  Whilst that was the truth, it wasn’t the whole truth.  Your wife divorced you because you didn’t have enough money for her, your two children, your mistress, her children, and your girlfriend.  It was only when the bailiffs turn up on your doorstep because you hadn’t paid your council tax that the whole thing unravelled.  Busted!


I’m divorcing my husband because he chews with his mouth open.  Sadly this one was completely true with no punchline, but does demonstrate that if you find something unreasonable, and the other side aren’t going to argue with you, the court are likely to grant you your divorce.


I’m not letting my son stay at his father’s this weekend because he hasn’t purchased the car seat that we agreed on, and even had set out in the order.  Yes, that’s true, but dad bought an even better car seat, and provided evidence and details.  Are we really going to go back to court and give that as your reason for not allowing access????


I’m not letting my daughter visit her father this weekend because she doesn’t want to.  I don’t necessarily believe she doesn’t want to, but even if that’s true, my kids often don’t want to clean their teeth, go to bed at reasonable time and do their homework.   As a responsible parent it’s my job to make sure they do the things they are supposed to do, and unless there is evidence of abuse or risk (which there wasn’t in this case) then you tell the child then are going and that’s the end of it.  Unless of course you want to explain to the Judge that your 7 year old dictates the terms to you, in which case you might find that social services are much more interested in your parenting skills than you want them to be!


I’m not trying to make light of some of the traumas that people experience, and many of them deserve (and receive) our love and support, but there are a few who need more of a pep talk than a solicitor.


We are looking to meet people who are thinking about getting divorced and would like a free impartial chat (over cup of tea or glass of wine!) where we can talk you through the serious things and be straight with you about the things you should just laugh off.  If you’d like to come to our drop in clinic or meet up with us another time drop us a line at esme@kleymansolicitors.com.


Kleyman & Co Solicitors.  The full service law firm.  For the broken hearted and the ready to get started.