I’m very much a glass half full kind of person.
Actually, I’m a “it’s irrelevant how full or empty the glass is, because it’s always refillable”. Which I think proves my point even more namely that I am, essentially, a very positive person, and if you saw how badly my football team were doing at the moment, and yet STILL I go religiously, you’d know how true that was.
I can even find the benefits in having been through lockdown which included my ability to catch up on all the podcasts that I haven’t had time to listen to before, including the wonderful Kermode & Mayo’s Film Review, who are both entertaining and engaging. I almost feel like I want to have a pen and paper beside me every time I listen, not just so I can write down the films I fancy seeing, but also to remember some of their amazing quotes.
One of those quotes was about “the anxiety of parenthood” which really struck a cord with me. When you first find out you’re going to be a parent, your focus is on very practical things, such as making sure you’ve got all the right equipment, or learning how to do deep breathing to help you through labour. There is usually great excitement and lots of things to look forward to, all with good reason.
But it’s easy to forget that being a parent can bring joy and worry in equal measures.
Whilst there are some things that I cannot stop you worrying about, there are other things that I can help with. With more and more people having kids without being married, there are plenty of things that parents can agree on in advance, which might reduce the anxiety in the future. For example, agreeing that the father’s name should be on the birth certificate isn’t just about protecting his rights if the relationship breaks down. It can also be vital should something happen to mum, and dad needs to take control. If you are not married, then the father needs to be present when the birth is registered, to agree to his name being included.
Naming a baby can also be an anxious time, but I’m not limiting this to just what their first name will be. Their last name can be equally important. Mum might be traditional and want the baby to have dad’s last name, which is great, but if she ever wants to travel with the child without dad, she may have difficulties if the child has a different name on the passport. The same, of course, applies in reverse. So a double barrelled name can be one way of reducing the risk of this being a problem. If that isn’t possible (there are some names you just don’t want to saddle a child with!) then there are alternatives such as always making sure you have the right certified paperwork with you when you are away.
If you looking forward to having children, and you want to have a few less reasons to be anxious, then now the lockdown is over I can unplug myself from my podcasts and we can catch up for a chat.
Kleyman & Co Solicitors. The full service law firm. Making even childbirth less painful.