The sharpest tool in the box

My youngest son has always been sharp. And not always in a good way.

I often talk about people’s ability to argue over the colour of air. The first time I heard that expression, it was being used of my son and it was spot on.

His godmother was also known to observe that my son’s tongue was so sharp that one day he would cut himself.

Being argumentative is not always a good skill, especially if you don’t know when to back down or when to at least listen to the other side, even if it’s only to make themselves look even more foolish!

However, sometimes watching my son dismantle the other side can be like watching ballet. It can be beautiful.

Take today, for example. Most Sundays, I try to make sure we spend a few hours together, so we chose to walk into the local town to grab a coffee. He was eating an apple as we left, which he finished as we passed some trees. He threw the apple core into the long grass as a girl around the same age as him was passing us. She immediately shouted at him how wrong it was to litter and he should be ashamed of himself.

Quick as a flash and with a knowing smile, he answered.

Firstly, he says, that isn’t litter. The oxford dictionary defines litter as being things like paper, cans and bottles. Even our local authority distinguishes between the two by asking us to put food waste separately from rubbish.

Secondly, he said, an apple core is bio degradable and so by throwing it into the bushes rather than putting it in the bin he was being environmentally friendly.

Finally, he commented, that if she was that concerned about the environment she wouldn’t be carrying a disposable plastic carrier bag rather than a reusable bag.

It wasn’t just how fast he rattled off his points, but the fact that he did it with a cheeky smile. I was half expecting him to ask for her number so he could take her out and discuss it in more detail. I think she was probably expecting that too!

In my experience, one of the most valuable lessons we can learn is when to pick our battles. I don’t know whether the girl started the conversation because she genuinely believed she was right, or just as an excuse to talk to him, but either way I suspect it backfired on her. Whatever her real motivation, a better way to start the conversation might have been to ask him why he threw the apple core away. If he had had a good answer, it could have led to a good chat. If he hadn’t, she could have decided whether or not to scold him, but she still gets her point across.

The same can be applied to business. If you aren’t happy with a clause in a contract, or a position taken by the other side, better to ask for an explanation or clarification than automatically assume that the other side have made a mistake. If you get a satisfactory answer, then you can move on without having made yourself look foolish. If you don’t, then they are the ones that look the fool!

Kleyman & Co Solicitors. The full service law firm. Legal and dating advice.